I just don't get it...

I really don’t understand. Why does he always get the attention? Why do people only care about him? Why do they always prioritize him over me? What does he have that I don’t have?

I’m the one who is working so hard. I’m the one who never complained. I’m the one who do whatever they tell me to do. I’m the one who passed my PSR exam with flying colors and got into the best class in middle school. I’m the one scored my PMB exam. I passed my O-level with more than enough Os’ needed to get into sixth form. I’m the one who never stop trying my best even though I always felt like giving up during the two years of sixth form. I’m the one who managed to reach as high as being a UNIVERSITY student!

He asks for money on every single day; only to buy those useless stuffs like cigarettes, beautiful clothes, USELESS! I ask for money very rarely and only for something important; books, school stuffs… I don’t have beautiful clothes in my closet… I don’t smoke… I only buy something that I can share with my other siblings, something that can fill their stomach, and something that can make me and them happy.

I used my own money for stuffs that I like. The pocket money I got for school, I keep them. Only use them for something I need, like EASI for my phone.

I don’t care if I don’t always get what I want. I don’t care if I don’t have beautiful clothes to wear. I don’t care if I have to eat only instant mee. Because I understand, and I don’t want to trouble them.

When he was away from house, living with his girlfriends, didn’t even come to visit my parents, I was doing my best in PKBN. Under the hot son, sweating, with pain throughout my whole body, I kept on doing my best because I wanted to go home and live with my family again!

He ran away from home and threatened my parents that he would only come back if they allow him to marry. He is only eighteen years old, didn’t have any job but he still insisted on getting married without even caring about our family financial situation. And me, I finally got a boyfriend after 7 years but broke up with him because ma doesn’t like him. I listened.

My phone broke; I didn’t go to my parents asking for a new one, I waited. My air-cond in my room broke; I don’t ask it to get fixed but just bear with it even in hot weather. My laptop broke; I don’t go crying begging for new one.

It’s Friday, I finally get a day off from school, I’m supposed to get under my blanket and sleep the whole day. Because I’m tired. But I wait until ma leaves for work and do what I should do in the kitchen. I mop the floor. I do as much as I can. While he and his wife lock themselves in their room, sleep until the sun is already high in the sky, spend the rest of the day watching DVD and only come downstairs to look for food when they are hungry.

He’s bad at choosing friends. I do as best as I can to only hang out with the good people.

I’m always the one who is working so hard. But why? Why is it me who get the least attention? Can anyone explain?

I cried, cried and cried; saying to myself that I don’t deserve this. I want more attention paid to me. I want them to see me. TO LOOK AT ME! To care about me… to understand me more… To make me feel that I actually belong here… 

Reunion

Okay! I have waited long enough and now I don’t have the patience to wait any longer! I’m at my limit! Kuso!

For this post, I’m gonna talk about the Reunion for Juara-ians on Friday, about two weeks ago. It was great that I was able to meet my old classmates from high school. Only one or two couldn’t make it that day. Yeah, too bad.

Actually I wasn’t planning to go because I’m not really close to them, the Juara-ians. During my high school years, I always hung out at the class next door so I’m much closer with the people of that class instead of my own class.  I think I did post about this in one of my post long time ago.

But then, Hana-chan was like insisting for me to come and yeah, in the end, I came to the reunion but that wasn’t a bad decision at all. I actually enjoyed myself that day.

The reunion was hosted at one of my old classmates’ house and the place was quite near to mine. I went there together with Yuki Pe, one of my closest friends in the class. At that time, most of them were already there and were busy with the BBQ stuffs. LOL! Wow, there were so many faces that I haven’t seen for quite awhile already. Surprisingly, I still remember all of their names.

As we entered the house, we were greeted by Hana-chan and Saku-chan! Guess what? Saku-chan cried as soon as she saw Yuki! It was a very touching reunion. Haha XD Well, because for last 9 months, Yuki had been missing in action. No one knew how to contact her, she had been completely unreachable. It was a miracle that we managed to contact her for the reunion. That is why we were so happy and glad she made it that day.

While waiting for the food to be ready, I talked a lot with Hana-chan, Yuki and Saku-chan, about a lot of stuffs. It was really fun! It was like the four of us were in our own world! Our own reunion! LOL! And then, Hana-chan gave me a book that she bought for me while in UK. KYAA! The title of the book is ‘Memoirs Of A Johnny’s Fanboy’ by Marcus Herziq! Oh my! I seriously freaking love Marcus! He is also known as Kamichan in the Johnny’s fandom. I have talked to him before :P

 Thank you so much, Hana-chan for the book! I love you!

I did talk to my other ex-classmates as well, but most of the time, I was with Hana-chan, Saku-chan and Yuki :) I also talked to Yuki about Ikki-san and Ohayopo-kun. She is really a great listener and not only that, she also gave me some advices on how to deal with my life. The reunion was before my memorable SATURDAY (I hope you get what I mean :P).

While I was checking the food with Hana-chan, Saku-chan suddenly whispered something to me that made my heart go ‘DOKI DOKI!’ She told me that Ikki-san sent a regard to me through Diib (his friend which is also one of the Juara-ians)

~ Seriously, that was really unexpected! And the funny thing is, I cried. LOL!

Oh yeah! MinKi also came to the reunion! YES! MinKi! Remember him!? LOL! The friend I used to hang out with almost everyday during my sixth form days! Yes, the super KPOP fan! :D I missed him! So happy meeting him again! From what I heard, he applied to Micronet International College. Hehe… And my crush…err, I mean, EX-crush was also present :P When I looked at him, I laughed at myself. Oh, memories… haha

While eating, I listened to the others talking and found out that two of the Juara-ians got scholarship to UK; Diib and Rafique. Awesome! I wish them best of lucks :) We laughed a lot and it was seriously fun. Then we stopped eating for awhile to perform Maghrib prayer together :) One of the boys became the imam. Alhamdulillah.

When it was almost time for some of us to leave, we took some group photos as memory :D Oh my, it was seriously FUN! And guess what? Taking the photo was the most tiring part of the reunion, LOL!

Then, it was time to leave. I felt a little sad but well, we’ll meet again :) I hope we gonna do another reunion after 5 to 10 years :D And if I am married, I’m gonna bring my husband with me. Just kidding! But that would be awesome anyway… tehee!

So here are some photos from the reunion :P LOL! As I said, we were in our own world. Our own reunion. 

Actually, I wanted to post up the group photos as well, but I don’t have them with me. I asked Sipud (we used his camera, btw) for the photos but he is totally ignoring me! *please read the first line in the post to get a better understanding*

To Sipud, THANKS dear for the wonderful coorporation.

*Sarcasm is detected*

- Miki Ariake

A fan and The Star

For the past few days, I have been dying to write something on this blog. But there was nothing to write about. You guys might want to know what happened after that day, right. Well, nothing happened. I never see him again after that day. Oh well, as soon as I got home, I re-activated my twitter account and followed his so that I can always be updated about him. Sounds like a stalker, well yeah, you can call me that but I prefer calling myself a FAN. Because he is my star :)

It’s just like me and Yuto. Get it?

I don’t want to be a special fan or whatever; I just want to be someone who will always support him in whatever he is doing. I will be watching him from afar and pray for the best for him.

Just a fan, yeah, that’s it.

Everyday, while walking around the UBD area, I can still see his shadow everywhere. Like when I go to the cafeteria, I can still see him sitting there, eating his meal with his friend. When I go to the library and look up to the first floor, I can still see him sitting there, laughing with his friend. Student centre, CLT, chancellor hall, PMUBD Shoppe everywhere… but the memories do not bring me pain at all. Instead, they make me smile.

Every time, when I’m feeling down or feel like giving up, his smile on the wallpaper of my phone will cheer me up and for the rest of the day, I will be able to give my best.

Everything was good up until this morning when I looked at the calendar. Just a few days left until 25^th September. Now the fact that he is leaving soon hit me again. He is going to somewhere far… and the possibility to bump into him in UBD that I always look forward to everyday… will no longer be there.

It hurts me… But, obviously there is nothing I can do about it. So yeah, I can only pray for his safety and let him go. LOL! There is NO WAY I would go to the airport running and crying begging him not to leave! Who am I? I’m nobody. Plus, my life has too much drama already and I’m seriously tired.

So I will just keep this FAN-STAR relationship and that is enough to make me at least feel less sad :) I like him a lot and I will keep this feeling as my motivator to continue doing my best. We will meet again, he said. And I want to believe in that. When that time comes, I’m not sure if I still have the same feeling toward him, but seriously, to MOVE ON for now will take a VERY LONG time. I want to keep this feeling as long as I can even though it will hurt me in the end :) I can definitely handle the pain.

I will be fine.

I know I will be fine.

Ikki-san, until I finally found someone who can make my heart skip a beat like you did over a year ago, half of my heart is all yours. I don’t mind if you are going to keep it or throw it away… All I know is just that I have only half with me right now.

- Miki Ariake

Thank you~ From me to you :)

Finally! I have the time to write an update! Yokatta!

Yosha! Let’s start! :)

Do you remember? In my last post, I said I was not going to go and see him, right? I even planned to come to Uni in the afternoon to avoid him. But then, I had to attend the literacy skill-whatever session that I already signed up for. So, I didn’t have any choice but to come in the morning. Then I thought to myself, “Maybe I should just take a one last look at him before he leave?”

So, that was my plan; I would just look at his smile from a far, where he couldn’t see me.

HOWEVER, that was not what happened on Saturday.

I didn’t expect I would bump into him on my way to FASS building >< I was with Awin when I saw him sitting alone at the CLT area. I could already see him from afar and I was like, “Awin, that’s Ikki-san, right?”

But Awin was like, “Where?” and kept walking forward. I had no choice but to follow. As we came nearer, I became sure that was really Ikki-san! But it was already too late to turn back so I only speed up when I walked passed him and straight away headed to the Education building (instead of FASS building, yeah). I saw Anan approaching him though…

When I was sure that I was out of his view, Awin and I sat down at the nearest chair (I’m sorry that I dragged you with me, Awin). My heart was beating so fast that I thought I could die. Then I received a text from Anan. In the text, he told me that Ikki-san actually had something to talk to me! Stupid Anan! My heart beat that was already slowing down was going fast again!

I tried to ignore Anan’s text and took a bite of the sandwich I had just bought from the PMUbd shoppe… but I lost my appetite already. When I had already calmed down a little, we finally decided to move from that place. But I was worried that we would bump into Ikki-san again, so we used the back way…like NINJAS. And thank God, we safely arrived in the library.

But then, as we entered the library, I accidentally looked up and saw Ikki-san at the first floor of the library. I was like, “Oh my…” and pretended that I didn’t realize until that stupid Anan text-ed me again. He told me to look up and I knew what he was trying to do. BAKA! He asked me to come up to the first floor because he said Ikki-san got something to say. But I went to the second floor instead.

And my phone didn’t stop vibrating >.< ANAN! He kept sending me texts; telling me to go to the first floor. He also sent me Ikki-san’s pictures! He was pressuring me! I told him to stop but he didn’t listen at all. Then I left the library, dragging Awin with me and went to the CLT! And I was planning to just stay there until 10 am.

-First floor…-

-First floor…-

-Come to the first floor…-

-This could be last your chance to talk…-

-Selagi hayat masih dikandung badan! - (Anan was being dramatic here ==’)

-To the first floor!-

-First floor…-

-Why are you running away?-

Text after text came in and they were all from Anan. My phone never stopped vibrating. I did think of switching it off but then… this text came in, “Miki! He’s going home soon!”

It got me thinking… and I asked myself… What am I doing? Why am I running away? This might be my last chance…

I recalled back what Naru-baka said to me a day before.

“If you run away, you’ll keep on wondering what could have happen if you did meet up with him. Don’t be like me. I miss my chance to confess to the person I love the most and even now I regret my decision. I keep on wondering what could have happen if I confess… It hurts me wondering the very idea. I really think you so go. Whatever happens, at least you have the comfort of knowing rather than the hurt and the pain of wondering something of what could have happened.”

I didn’t know what Ikki-san wanted to say to me but I was very sure that he already found out everything. I thought so hard and in the end, I finally made up my mind to confront him!

Well, I can’t run away forever, right? And I also don’t want to go through the pain of wondering.

So, I met him.

I was freaking nervous the moment I heard the sound of his footsteps from behind me and I nearly explode when he said hi as he took a seat right next to me.

*Oh my! My heart is still beating so fast right now as I remember back that moment! >.<

And he said, “I know everything, Miki”

I swear! My heart just stopped functioning for a second there! I wanted to run away! But…I had to listen to what he would say. I didn’t expect anything though as I had already got a rough idea of what he was going to say. And I was right.

He said thank you and he really appreciate the feeling I have for him. He said he never thought he could make someone feel that strong emotion toward him. He also told me that he never realized it until he accidentally read my last post in this blog. I'm not sure if he have read everything... I mean from the post when his name was mentioned in this blog for the first time. Come to think about it, it was a year ago since I started writing about him... :') It started from a mini crush. How nostalgic... I never thought he would read...

I wanted to cry but he told me not to. He said, just be cool. Of course it’s easy for him, but me…? My heart felt like bursting. Seriously. He was so near! It has been awhile since the last time I saw him so up close! I was so happy that I didn’t run away.

He said not to worry. He will be fine :) And his flight will most probably be on 25^th September… yeah, so soon. I didn’t know what should I say so I just listened quietly to him…

It made me happy when he said we can still stay in contact after this and we will definitely meet again real soon. This is not the end, he said. This is the start of our friendship…, he said. Everything he said made me feel a lot better… His words sent the feeling of happiness throughout my blood system and I could feel that he’s really sincere… I really feel appreciated. Although he clearly doesn’t feel the same way toward me as I feel toward him, this is already enough.

Yokatta :’)

Ureshikatta. Hontou ni ureshikatta.

Then, he had to leave because he needed to settle some stuffs but he did remind me that we will definitely meet again real soon :) and that meeting ended… like that.

Right after he was out of view, I cried! I cried so hard than Awin had to calm me a bit. I was so happy. I’m glad that it’s Ikki-san. I’m glad that he is the guy I fell in love with. You see… he is really nice. I know, for him, I am just a friend… Even though, he is aware about my feeling for him, he didn’t avoid me, instead he came to see me.

“Thank you. I really appreciate it”

How many men in this world would actually say those?

He is a one in a million.

I am glad that it’s Ikki-san that I fell in love with! I am glad that I didn’t run away and listened to him :’)

Arigatou, Ikki-san! Hontou ni Arigatou!

It is obviously a one-sided love, but I am happy! I really am! Thank you! Ikki-san, thank you! Ne, I forgot to ask you this one important question… Is it okay for me to keep liking you?

I really like you! So, can I keep this feeling even after you left to UK? I want to keep it as long as I can… I just want to keep this feeling a little longer…as it is impossible to move on for now. Until, I finally found someone else that can make my heart skip a beat like you did over a year ago (It will be hard though, because a man like you is ONE in a MILLION), please let me keep this feeling! Onegaishimasu!

I will not expect anything in return! I promise!  I know my place. I know where I stand :)

I like you! :D

Yosh… I wish you all the best in UK! I know you will be fine! Ikki-san will be fine! I believe so! Hehe! While here, I will do my best as well!

Ikki-san, until we meet again, you will always be in my heart, in shaa Allah. And NO! I’m not going to expect anything in return :) Don’t worry! I’ll be okay!

Etto…I don’t know what else to write… ><

To end this post, I want to say it once again,

I am glad that it’s YOU.

Sayonara :) (for now)

- Miki Ariake

PS: I really want to say a big thank you to ANAN for everything. For the first time ever, in my life, I am glad that I know you, Anan. It was thanks to you that I got to talk to Ikki-san. Thank you, Anan! Thank you so much.

PSS: Anan, I know you complained about being my middleman… but let me remind you… I never asked for it! YOU volunteered yourself!

PSSS: And Anan! Don’t think that I don’t know what you chanted when I was taking a picture of memory with Ikki-san ==’ Awin told me!

PSSS: Thank you, Anan…Awin :’)

PSSSS: (I promise this will be the last PS*) Thank you, Ikki-san :) I will cherish this feeling that you have given me. For now, I want to stay in love with you~ without expecting anything in return, I promise. So you don't have to mind me :) I will be okay! ;D

Cherish

Hei,

I don’t have any particular topic to talk about right now. But, I feel like talking about Ikki-san. Anan told me this morning that… ten more days left and Ikki-san will be off to UK. When I read his text, I cried again. Only 10 days left…

*I’m not sure if that is just one of Anan’s lies ==’ I will kill him if he lied. 

Although I said that I have moved on but I still found myself looking around for him in uni. My heart is still beating so fast every time I think about him. When I am alone, I would found myself calling out his name out of blue.

Yesterday, when I logged in into my FaceBook account, I suddenly had the urge to check his acc and I ended up reading whatever on his timeline (even those from the period when I hadn’t met him yet). Yeah sure! Go on and call me a stalker.

But that is the only way, the only way I can know more about him. I cannot say that now I know everything about him after doing that but I can say that I now know a little about his past. Actually, he is like me; someone who keeps a lot to himself. He is always smiling, almost all of the time, he is nice to everyone. But actually, he is always hiding something. He can be sad, angry and hurt. And when he’s hurt, he tends to rely on himself.

When I looked through his pictures and saw his smiling face, I realized how much I missed it; the smile. I wanted to go back to the time when we were in the same class. Those time when I could stay near by his side without being noticed. I don’t mind if he won’t look at me because I know my place. I know where I stand. I’m just someone he knows. I’m no one important.

Last night, when he updated his status on FaceBook, I found myself typing a comment on it. “I feel like crying”, he said. I don’t know what happened but I hate that statement because I like his smile.

Everything happened so fast but we talked. It was just a short one but at least, I feel a little relieved. At least I got to talk to him. Although it was just on FaceBook but I feel happy. And when he said “Thanks for cheering me up”, I feel like I have accomplished something that I never ever thought I would.

Arigatou, Ikki-san, for making me feel this happy. I know for you it was just nothing. You were simply talking to a friend and nothing special about it. But for me, it’s a whole different thing.

I know you will never like me back but I still want to say this.

I like you. I really like you and there are a lot of reasons why I like you. But, I will never be able to say it directly to you.

Because I know who I am.

And I know what your answer will be.

You are like a star that I will never be able to reach.

It’s okay this way. Plus, I prefer it this way too.

Thank you so much. I will never regret that I like you. Because, liking you has been fun and is one of the best periods of my life. I will cherish this feeling. Always. It is more than enough already.

Thank you for letting me knows that you will be in Uni on this Saturday in the morning but I won’t go and see you. I don't have the courage. Gomenasai, it is time for me to move on completely. But I will always remember you, Ikki-san, even though you will probably forget everything about me soon. I wish you all the best and…

Sayonara~

- Miki Ariake

A day at the beach

Hei,

There is nothing much to write about the Family BBQ though. It was basically just a day I spent with my family. It had been awhile since the last time we did it. So I was kinda excited. We were supposed to go to the Seri Kenangan Beach in the morning like around 10 am but then pa needed to attend a wedding first so in the end, we went there in the afternoon.

It was raining heavily that morning at my place so I was worried if the rain would continue until the end of the end but thank God, it didn’t.

I love the beach. I really do. But that day, it was extremely windy and our stuffs kept getting blown away. We were having a hard time to keep everything in place. So I lost my mood because of that. So, instead of staying at the ‘pondok’ where my uncle was busy with the BBQ thing, I walked on the sand. I couldn’t get into the water with my siblings because I didn’t bring any extra clothes.

I was bored. I wished my friends were there. I did invite Suki-chan and Naru-baka though but for some reasons they couldn’t make it. I grabbed a stick and wrote some random words on the sand to kill time. And I ended up writing the names of the people that I miss the most.

Then I realized that my family was having so much fun so I thought, I should enjoy as well. Maa, that was the reason why we went there after all. I put on a smile and joined them. Finally, I started to enjoy myself too.

And I sure ate a lot ne! Haha XD

The rest of the day was full of our happy smiling faces and I’m glad that we got to spend the day together.

There you can see my pa, my aunt, my third brother and my little sister on the way to the toilet, my second brother, a friend of my uncle... and me. My ma was the one taking the picture. 

THE END~

-         Miki Ariake

PS: I’m sorry if this post is not that interesting to read. I’m a bit not in the mood today. Saa. 

Last Outing with Naru-baka and Suki-chan

Hei guys!

I don’t know why but I have become very lazy to post up any entries these days. But now, I really need to write this before I forgot the awesome moments I had yesterday.

After some time, Suki-chan, Naru-baka and I finally decided to meet up on Monday at Time Square right after class. I was excited that morning because I hadn’t met Suki-chan for quite a long time already. I missed her.

On the same day, I was supposed to go to Time Square with Rayma, Jila and Awin as well that afternoon so I thought I had no transport problem. This was my plan:

1)   Gather with Awin, Rayma and Jila after class

2)   Go to Time Square with them

3)  Meet up with Suki-chan and Naru-baka

4)  Enjoy with Suki-chan and Naru-baka after the other three leave

Yes, that was the plan…until, something happened. LOL! Awin, Rayma and Jila suddenly cancelled the plan because their class got extended. I was in a serious panic! I mean, I didn’t know what to do. I cannot ask my pa to pick me up at uni and send me to Time Square. He’ll become tired and I seriously don’t like troubling him. But, I already promised Suki-chan and Naru-baka to meet them there :(

While trying hard to think, I was just sitting alone in the CLT area; hoping for a miracle to happen that could help me out of this dilemma. Haha XD And then, someone appeared! My savior!

Ohayopo-kun!

Apparently, he was there to give me a surprise visit. I was surely surprised because I didn’t expect it at all. Well, he did text me to ask my location but I didn’t expect he was planning a surprise visit on me. When he asked, where would we go, I quickly suggested TIME SQUARE! And, yay! He was like, “Okay, let’s go to Time Square then”

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

On the way to Time Square, Hana-chan suddenly called me. I already promised to answer her call no matter where I am or what I am doing so I quickly pressed the answer call button.

Sure. She surely talked a lot; mostly about this ‘stuff’ and no, I cannot mention that ‘stuff’ here or she will kill me. She was asking for my advice on something. Well, I’m not sure if my advices would help her but I did my best. Then she told me that there will be a ‘Juara-ians reunion’ on this coming Friday. I didn’t want to go but I have to go because Hana-chan needs me there.  Haha XD We had an awesome long conversation and without realizing it, we almost arrived in Time Square when I ended the call.

*Hana-chan is one of my close friends from middle school and we also went to the same high school. I shared a lot of secrets with her. She is really kind and everyone in Juara class called her ‘The Angel’. But in 2010, in the middle of our big examination, she had to leave for UK because she got a scholarship. Yes, she is really smart. Now she is in her break so she’s back here in Brunei.

Arrived in Time Square, we got nothing to do. LOL! So Ohayopo-kun and I were just wandering around, talking about stuffs while waiting for Naru-baka and Suki-chan. The funny thing is, we were going around and around and around.

And then, we finally met up with Naru-baka! Yay! But Suki-chan was late, so while waiting, I suggested that we should go karaoke! Yes! I love Karaoke! And again, I forced Ohayopo-kun to join in even though he didn’t want to. I’m sorry! I also purposely chose songs that only suit Ohayopo-kun’s voice (the slow beat and low notes). Maybe he won’t admit this, but he sang those songs very well! I love it when he was singing ‘Pujaan Hati’! His voice perfectly fit the song! I’m serious! Sheez! I should have video recorded it!

We spent half an hour in the Karaoke box. Then it was time for Ohayopo-kun to leave because he needed to avoid the traffic jam.

*Thank you so much, Ohayopo-kun! Without you, I wouldn’t know what to do. You are the miracle I was waiting for! You are my savior! You showed up on the right time, on the right place. LOL! Seriously, thank you so much.

Suki-chan was late! Haha XD She arrived about 5 minutes after Ohayopo-kun left! Then we went for lunch first because I hadn’t eaten anything since the night before. I’m in diet btw because I’ve gained weight these past few days. I’m getting fatter and I hate it. Oh, back to the main story. LOL! Once we had our lunch, we headed to the cinema and…we spent almost an hour just to decide on what to watch ==’

I really wanted to watch ‘City of Bones’ but we ended up buying tickets for Elysium. Elysium was okay and I didn’t regret the fact that we chose that one. I almost cried at the end of the movie. Opps! I won’t give any spoilers for those who haven’t watched it so I’m just gonna shut up now :P

After the movie, we went Karaoke-ing again! LOL! Yeah, another round :P I had fun! We just randomly chose some songs; Naru-baka especially! LOL! Suki-chan was like, “Who chose this song?” when a Hindustan song featured Shah Rukh Khan appeared on the screen. Haha XD I love the part when we went crazy when Hey!Say!JUMP’s Super Delicate was played.

We spent exactly one hour there :3 The last song we sang was a Thai song called ‘Sabai-sabai’ LOL! Then we went shopping! Hmm, just them actually, not me because I don’t have much money. We bought another set of FRIENSHIP bracelets. They are really simple but cute. Mine is PURPLE! LOVE IT TO THE MAX!

That night, Suki-chan sent me home and I arrived home around 10 pm, I think. Well, it was an awesome day! I had fun! I had so much fun! But sadly, as the title up there said, it was our last outing together because they are gonna sit for their A-level exam and Suki-chan’s paper will be tomorrow. I have to wait until they finish their exam to hang out with them again. Until then, I will be lonelier than usual…

I’m only ‘me’ when I’m with those two girls. They are the best present in my life. Good luck with your exam, both of you! So that next year, we can go to uni together :P I wanted to share some pictures from the outing but as usual, they are in Naru-baka's camera =='

Lastly, before I end this entry…

THANK YOU. And I’M SORRY. And, I LOVE YOU.

-         Miki Ariake

PS! I will write about BBQ in the next post. I hope. LOL!

Yesterday's presentation was a disaster, and today's was...

Dear all, I am back!

There is nothing much to share but I still want to write up an entry! :D

I did mention in my last post that my first presentation as a uni student was a disaster, right? Oh yes, it was really a disaster. A big one! I rehearsed a lot before coming into class and I thought I was ready to give it a go but then because of an unavoidable reason, we couldn’t use the projector, so we had to give a traditional presentation. Yes, just an oral presentation! I wasn’t ready for it at all!

My other group-mates did great but when it was my turn, I stuttered a lot and my sentences were messed up! I was so freaking nervous! The people all had a serious expression on their face and I wasn’t sure if they actually understood what I was talking about. I forgot everything that I had already rehearsed and just read from the slide which actually could cause me lose of points. But I didn’t have any choice :(

After we finished the presentation, Miss Bianca commented that although we did our research, we don’t really understand the topic we were presenting. She was actually specifically telling that to me. I was in a serious trouble when she asked me to re-explain everything in my own words! As I told you, it was a real disaster! But I am glad that at least we had done our presentation. We were actually the first group to present!

And today, another presentation! I didn’t want to repeat the same mistake so I really did a lot of preparation this time. I came early to Uni and spent my time alone in the library to make sure that everything was okay. I read my slides and my speech so many times and I tried to understand the topic as much as I could.

Then, it was finally time for the presentation! Our group was the second group to present today; the group before did very well so we were nervous!

BUT! I did it! I did it without stuttering much! :D And YES!  I did it! I managed to present without any problems! Oh my! I’m so happy! I think it was mainly because my classmates in the Drama class are very friendly and I’m okay with them all. I mean, they are not that serious as those in Kinship class. In Drama class, we enjoy! :3 The class was full of laughter when Az was presenting his parts :D Even Mr. Low found his parts as interesting. Well, overall, we did great!

Karlos and Az, thank you so much, guys, for everything! It was short but I really had fun working with you guys! I hope we can be in the same group again if we gonna have a group work like this again :D

I’m so glad that now all the presentations for this week are over! Now, all I have to think about is the reports…and the essays that need to be submitted at the end of week 7 and week 8 :(

After the class, I had to work at the gown distribution, as a volunteer together with Awin, Rayma and Jila. Oh, and also Nao. We didn’t really do anything there but we had to stay there until 4:30 pm because we took the afternoon shift.

I spent the time talking about a lot of stuffs with Nao when there was nothing to do. Well, we were just fooling around actually. It was fun! The issue about Ikki-san did come out several times in our conversation. Well, because Nao is the one who knows the most about my feeling for that boy. And she was the one who kept telling me to move on. LOL!

I moved on!

I know… It is really hard to just forget, especially after bumping into Ikki-san this morning… I didn’t tell you?

Yeah, I bumped into him this morning. I was on my way to the PMUbd shoppe when I saw him. And he saw me as well. My heart beat rate increased so drastically and I didn’t know what to do when our eyes met. I just immediately turned around and walked away in a fast speed! Yes. I ran away. Again.

Apparently, he was in uni today to settle some things before he leaves… That is what Nao told me.

*sigh*

FINE! I admit that I am stupid! I should have just walked to him and talked to him but I ran away instead. Well, I already decided to move on!

Urghhh!!!

-         Miki Ariake

Ps: My left ankle is in a serious pain right now. I sprained it when I was running away from him… 

Archery got cancelled, Karaoke then! And the Charity Bazaar!

Konbanwa!

             

LOL! Guess what? In Uni today, almost all of my friends asked me the same question.

“Are you okay now, Miki?”

I am okay and thank you for the concern :) I really appreciate it! I’ve already decided to move on and keep the smile on my face. Well, obviously University won’t be the same anymore without Ikki-san but there’s nothing I can do about it. The only thing I can do is…move on! Like Nao said to me this morning, “You will find someone new!”

I know I will but it will be hard to find someone like Ikki-san again. He is one in a million.

Okay. I should stop talking about those stuffs now.

So, as I already promised in the last post, I’m gonna talk about what happened last week. Let’s start from… Friday! On last Friday, I was supposed to attend a DRY RUN at Jubilee Park with Awin, Rayma and Jila. But for some reasons I had to cancel the plan. I really wasn’t in my usual mood that day.

Why?

Okay. I haven’t talked to anyone about this except Naru-baka. On that day, a mysterious number suddenly text-ed me. I don’t know who it was, but that person told me to die. And when I was about to reply her/him, the person blocked my number. I wonder why… Why do I have to die?

Because of that, I was so not in the mood. So, there is someone who hates me. I really want to know who it is and what the reason. But because I don’t want to think too much, I deleted the text and hoping that nothing like that would appear again. Then, I regretted my action *sweat drop* I should have saved the number first! So that I can investigate!

I tried to forget everything and went for a jog! It was fun but suddenly it started to rain and I had run home. 

At night, we went to my Angah’s Open House. I still wasn’t in the mood but after meeting my cute lil cousins, I started to enjoy myself a little. And actually thanks to Ohayopo-kun who worriedly text-ed me asking if I was okay just because he saw my status.

That night, I karaoke-ed as much as I want! Well, I sang quite a few Raya songs. Haha! But it was fun! We only went back home around 11 pm.

The next day, I had another round of karaoke! Oh yeah! It’s a long story but let’s just make it short. That day, well, Saturday, Ohayopo-kun and I planned to go for the archery since we have the ‘1 bundle of arrows’ free coupon :P He picked me up in UBD’s student centre.

However, instead of straight away headed to The Airport Mall, we stopped by at the ITB first because Ohayopo-kun needed to send his Raya food to his class (well, ITB had a Raya celebration that afternoon). Oh yeah! My second time stepping into the ITB. My first time was in 2010 :3 I was so excited! LOL! I tried my best not to act like ‘tourist’ so that people would think that I am one of the students there. ITB is great! It is almost as big as UBD. Ohayopo-kun became my tour guide this time. He showed me around and I got to see their still unopened library and cafeteria. I like the structure of the library building.

I was hoping to see my friends there but didn’t bump into any of them except Ukasya, my LAB PARTNER! LOL! But didn’t get to say hi…

After the short ITB tour, we then got back into the car and headed to Airport Mall. Ohayopo-kun had to park far away from the mall and we had to walk under the hot sun, but I don’t really mind because as we walked, I also gained a lot of stuffs. Haha! As you already know, Ohayopo-kun is a ‘walking wikipedia’. Some things that I learned that day is about the nuclear plants issue in Japan.

Okay, to shorten the story, when we finally arrived at the Archery Belalang Jati, IT WAS CLOSED! We were like, ‘Okay…’ Haha XD So in the end, we had to change the plan!

We went KARAOKE-ing! It was my plan though. I had a lot of fun! I also forced Ohayopo-kun to sing even though he said he didn’t want to :P He did sing in the end and he actually has a nice voice that kinda has a ROCK feeling in it :D My voice isn’t that great but I don’t care! Haha! I just love to sing to release all the stress. We sang quite a lot of songs <3 Then, Ohayopo-kun paid at counter for another set of token which we used on the ‘car racing’ thing. Initial D! I lost the race by the way… LOL!

And after that, we had to go back because Ohayopo-kun needed to be in ITB at 1 pm for the Raya celebration. He sent me back to Uni as I also had a class at 2 pm that afternoon.

NOW! After the class! I met up with Awin, Jila and Rayma, and together we went to Jubilee Park in Jila’s car for the Pusat Ehsan Charity Bazaar! Yes, we were a part of the volunteers. There, we were assigned to take care of the game booths. Me and Rayma were put at the Fortune Wheel game. It was seriously awkward because I had to use my voice to attract people into coming to our booth. I was like, “Err…who… who wants to play?” LOL!

It was so tiring because people kept coming :3 But it was really fun and that night, we finished at around 9:45 pm after clearing all the rubbish.

The next day! We went there again! And this time we went there quite early because I wanted the shirt, but to our disappointment, the shirts finished already and we didn’t get our… But still it was fun!

Me and Rayma were asked to help in selling the coupons. At first, we were like, “What should we do?” and just awkwardly wandering around to see if there were people who wanted to get the coupons. But then we started to enjoy it! Rayma was awesome! She said, she is no good in talking to strangers! But wow, she’s actually very good and we managed to sell all the coupons given to us in a short time.

Then, we were told to look after a game booth and guess what, next to our booth was the anime booth! LOL! And cosplayers were everywhere. There was Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Hatsune Miku, Migurine Luka, those characters from Final Fantasy, Bleach and a lot more! :D Ryu was also a part of them :3 He was wearing somewhat ninja-ish attire and was carrying a long wooden stick with him.

I was so exhausted when the day ended. We were asked to do the cleaning again… and we also got scolded by the supervisors ==’ Maa….

But still, even though we were tired, we still grabbed the chance to take some photos of memories :P

There is actually more! But for some reasons I have some troubles in uploading them…and they are beautiful pictures actually :(

Hmm, I guess, that is all.

I’m tired already. Haha XD

-         Miki Ariake

Ps: By the way, my first presentation was this morning. It was a DISASTER. Okay, bye.