Assalamu’alaikum
warahmatullahi wabarakatuh
I am
back! Sorry for not posting much these days. I am just too lazy. Btw, I had
just finished my exam two week ago so yeah, my three months long break has
officially started! Yay! XD Oh, the papers? Well, nothing much to say about
them. I did my revision and I worked so hard so I regret nothing. But I am
still not sure about the result though. Hehe…
So!
Forget about the paper! I have a lot of plans for the three months holiday but
the thing is I cannot do it alone. Yeah. I need companions. Of course I have
Suki-chan and Naru-baka but they have their own life to deal with too.
Suki-chan had just got a job last week, I think. I don’t know when will she
starts but for sure, she will be busy with her work. Naru-baka is currently
working in the same building with my ma. Sometimes, I would go there and hang
out at her area. But again, I can’t do that every day. I can feel that being
there I am just going to disturb her. Surely, she does feel annoyed of me.
Yeah… For sure… In the end, I am all alone again.
*sigh*
I
realized they are all growing up :) Suki-chan has a job. Naru-baka is already
thinking of getting married and she is really passionate about her passion with
videos making that she started working to collect enough money for buying a
camera. Everyone has a goal. Except me, I think.
I feel
like so far left behind. I don’t know. It’s like I am nothing compare to those
people around me. I don’t even have any career targeted on my mind. Yes, I
study. I’m a university student and majored in professional communication and
media. But…But I don’t know. I’m only doing things for the sake of doing. I’m
only going with the flow and I have no idea where I’m going… I have no talents.
I’m only good at talking but really, I still feel like I’m nothing.
An
awesome fangirl?
Oh yeah.
Whatever. The truth is, I am still thinking like a kid. I need to grow up and start thinking
mature! But, I don’t want to grow up… I still want to have fun. I know its
wrong… But I feel lonely too easily… I realized that as we grow up, the time we
spend together has lessened. I miss the old times. I don’t wanna grow up… I
wanna go back to old times! …
I am so
immature for thinking in this way because everyone knows that to go on with
life, we have to go forward. Always, forward. But I can clearly see, that, the future,
its too lonely. Well, for me.
Dear
Peter Pan, I know you are just a fictional character, but I want to follow you...
It's not wrong to have the presence of a child in our soul. For me, having that childish part is needed as we grow up. The more we aged, the more we need to keep that (childish) part intact.
ReplyDeleteAs for the 'I have no talents', I don't think you should worry too much about it. Because I truly believe that everyone have their own talents. Especially you. You might not be able to see it just yet but I believe you will find what your talents are. Who knows, its right under your nose.
Friends.. I know your friends love having you. I am sure that they enjoy every moments they spend with you. It's true that as we grow up, the time we spend with them seem to be a lot lesser than it used to but I believe that does not mean the relationship and bonds we created over the years will easily crumble. It might be a lot different than it used to but friends are still friends. They are like our family. As what people would say, blood is thicker than water - something along that line.
I know how annoying I might sound but I just want to let you know that you are never alone. You feel like that you are left behind. A lot of people feel that way. I feel that way. We are afterall human. We are not perfect. What I am trying to say here is that you might not as left behind as you thought you are :) maybe, just maybe...you are closer to a goal. A goal that you did not know existed. A goal that you did not know you have. Just saying:)
I hope my comment does not offend you. I just thought you need to know this :)