So near, yet so far

Assalamu'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

So, I have received a letter that I, myself, wrote to myself, when I was in PKBN. Get it? It was like this, during our solo night in a forest in Temburong, we were given papers and pencil. We were told to write a letter to our future self. And few days ago, that letter finally arrived at my house. Amazing, isn't it?

I read it.

And all the memories and feelings and emotions came back. I didn't know I could actually write such deep words and I nearly cried! I am really thankful to my past self for writing the letter.

Hmm.

That is not all I want to talk about in this post. Okay. Before I actually start, please forgive me first. Yeah, it is about Ikki-san, again.

I know! :( But really, I can't move on no matter how hard I tried. Because I really like him to the point I found it's hard to do my fangirling nowadays ><

So, what I am actually wanting to say in post is that...

Ikki-san is back here, in this country... like since days ago! And I only found out about it like two days ago. Oh, my heart! Part of it is hurting because of the fact that I didn't know, but I am also happy that he is back even just for awhile. I don't even know for how long will he be here :(

I don't blame him. I blame myself because I stupidly hoping for something that would never happen. I was the one who promised that I would not hope for anything back but then I still did which really stressed me out! Oh well...

Anyway, now that he is here... I wish I can see him even just for like a minute or two~ I want to see that smile again. I don't mind seeing from far away, as long as I can see that smile and hear that voice again.

Because I like him.

He is The Star. And I am a fan.
This is reality.

Ps: Please ignore my English errors :(