I still remember...

Hi there.

Sorry for not posting for the past two days. I’ve been so busy. A lot of things happened. Actually today I was planning to write about the Charity Bazaar which I involved in as one of the volunteers but then I suddenly received unexpected news this morning.

Let me tell you.

I was already in a bad mood this morning when I came to Uni because I had a fight with my ma about something. But as I was busy discussing about the assignment with friends, I was starting to forget about what happened with my ma that morning. Until, Nao suddenly told me a bad news.

A bad news.

A bad news.

It might be a good news to everyone else.

But it is definitely a bad news to me.

Nao told me that… Ikki-san got the scholarship.

YES! SCHOLARSHIP! SCOLARSHIP TO STUDY ABROAD! And you know what that means, right? That means I won’t be seeing him around UBD again! I won’t be able to see his smile again! When Nao told me, I cried. I just cried. My heart broke. I tried to hold my tears but I couldn’t…

I really like him.

He was the reason why I kept coming into EAS class even though I didn’t like the class at all. Even though I always felt like escaping. I still came into class because I know he was there! I was always looking forward to see him.

When I felt alone, when no one was willing to occupy the empty seats next to me, he was always there. He would ask with a smile on his face, “Can I sit here?”

I still remember that day when we were in EAS extra class in the lecture theater, I know no one in my group. Except Ikki-san and because he was there, I was able to go through it. I’m always awkward around strangers and Ikki-san actually helped me there. “It’s okay” he said.

I still remember when he stood in front of the class to present the Superhero that his group had thought about. I found him so funny, especially on the nipple thingy.

I still remember when he tried to occupy Haru-chan’s seat next to me but cursed the air-cond that he cancelled the plan.

I still remember when he chose to use the computer next to the one I was using and we talked about the courses we were planning to take in University level. And we helped each other to fill in the form.

I still remember when he called my name for the first time.

I still remember the smile he flashed to me every time he turned around.

I still remember his gentle voice when he talked to me.

I still remember the look on his face when he was waiting for our ideas to be put in into our project in class, something about the colors.

I still remember the look on his face when we said that we thought he was a Chinese.

I still remember when he sat so close to me that I could see his beautiful pair of gray eyes.

I still remember when asked us to convince him into joining PKBN and when he told us about how he hates authorities.

I still remember that feeling when my heart went ‘dup dap dup dap’ every time I bumped into him.

I still remember when I accidentally overheard his conversation with Mat about Belle; the girl he likes.

I still remember when I sneakily snapped a picture of him while pretending to text a friend.

I still remember when I prank-ed Nao just to steal his phone number from her contact list.

But the thing that I remember that most about him is the moment when I finally realized that I like this boy. That is when he suddenly approached me and brought in Hey!Say!JUMP into our conversation.

I really like him. I really do. I thought that it is actually enough to just like him from a far. But now I realized, just that is not enough!

Regrets. Regrets. Regrets.

I should have confessed earlier! I shouldn’t have been thinking too much about what would he answer me if I confessed. I should have just told him! Tell him that I like him instead of covering my face, or running away every time I bump into him in uni.

It is too late now. It is over.

Because of the news, I was crying in front of my friends. I didn’t care because I really needed to cry. It was hard to hide my emotion in the drama class just now. Even though I wasn’t saying anything, they realized that something was wrong with me. With concern on their face, Karlos, Karim and Azee approached me. Thank you, guys.

Thank you to Awin and Rayma as well.

And Ohayopo-kun… He maybe didn’t realize anything when we met up after class today but he did help by bringing me out :) He made me laughed a lot again today. And I got to eat ICE CREAM! Ice cream is always something that I will look for when I’m feeling sad. Arigatou, Ohayopo-kun for everything. If you didn’t come this afternoon, I would be looking for an empty class and cry there alone. Hahaa.

I should start a new page now. Ikki-san will remain in my heart as a sweet memory. Seriously, I never thought I would cry because of him! LOL! It was just a mini crush…that actually got big.

Well, past in past. I missed my chance. It is something that God has arranged for me :) So, I shouldn’t be thinking about it anymore. It is over. Haha… This mini crush game is over.

OVER.

Sayonara, Ikki-san :’) I wish you all the best in catching your dream! Here, I will start a new page. Sayonara…

-         Miki Ariake

PS: I will post about the charity bazaar and the ‘Archery got cancelled, Karaoke came in’ incident :)

YOSH! LET’S SMILE! BECAUSE SMILE CAN SAVE THE WORLD!!