So, I'm planning to join PKBN (Program Khidmat Bakti Negara). You know...it's a program where we will be trained like in military. Yeah, I want to join. Hmm, I already wrote down my name! The program will start in December and ends in somewhere around 20th February. For the the whole three months, I will be staying in a boarding house or dorm or whatever you call it.
No PHONE. No Lap Top. For the whole three months. And can only meet your family like once a week. My friend said the three months will be very tough. Because they are so strict. We will have to wake up at 3 am every morning, do some aerobic then run around the track. Bed must always clean and organize. There must not any dust or even a strand or hair on the bed when they come to check. If they found one, we will be punished (Push ups, sit ups, etc). I wonder if I can survive the three months. It's so gonna be hard but I still want to join. Because I want to train myself to be more disciplined. And to learn how to be more independent. Plus, they gonna teach us how to use guns and shoot, how to survive if we are left alone in a jungle, etc. That's sure gonna be fun.
I already wrote my name. And Haru-chan as well. There is no turning back now.
I was talking about the PKBN thingy with Nao yesterday on our way to English AS class and Ikki-san overheard it. So he asked, "You guys joining?" and yes, we answered. Then he started talking about it, like asking the reasons why we are joining and stuffs. Our EAS lecturer was not in school yesterday so we just stayed in class. There was a relief teacher but she allowed us to do whatever we wanted if we already finished our work.
Ikki-san talked a lot! He was thinking of joining the PKBN but at the same time, he sees no points of joining such program. He told us to convince him that he won't regret it if he joins the program. Mat explained everything to him. He tried his best to make Ikki-san to see how fun it will be if he joins. But Ikki-san is like...he has his own point of view. He told us how he doesn't like being ordered around, how he has problem with authority and stuffs.
I tried to act normal when he suddenly sat down on the seat next to me and faced me. He asked, "You, why do you want to join?" Man, I was mesmerized by his eyes that I took time to answer his question. My mind went blank so I just said, "Because it will be fun". He didn't seem to be convinced by that. Ha-ha (awkward laugh). Then he got up. I was like, "Fuhh..." when he was no longer sitting next to me but then my heart skipped a beat again when took the seat IN FRONT of me! So we sat facing each other for the whole period.
I was in panic! But I managed to keep calm and act...natural. I wonder if I did look natural ==' but I tried not to show how fast my heart was beating that time. He continued talking about PKBN and some other stuffs with Mat who sat next to him. Sometimes, he also turned and talked to me. Seriously, it was hard to stay calm when my heart was thumping madly inside me. But I got to see him so close... his beautiful brown eyes...I felt like they were sucking me in... *blushes* He caught me staring at him many times that day... but I quickly looked away! I wonder if he notices that I like him...
For the 1 hour period, I think I found out more about him :) He really talked a lot. He is so nice. Okay, I want to make a confession here! When he wasn't aware, I took out my phone and pretending to text my friend. And SNAP! I took a picture of him! I KNOW! I SOUND LIKE A CRAZY STALKER! But I can't help it! Because I know...when the exam is over in November, when we no longer attending PTEK, I won't have a chance to see him again... So...I want to at least have something to keep as a memory. There's nothing wrong with it, right? It's NOT like I'm going to put 'jampi' on it or whatever! I just want to keep it so then in the future, I will always remember that I have liked this guy before. I also got his phone number... no no, he didn't give it to me. I got it from Nao's phone when I was pretending to check her log after making the 'fake call' to scare her ><
I sound like a crazy stalker. I know. But don't worry. I know my limit. I know where I stand. I'm just a friend to him. A classmate. That's all. I will keep myself reminded about that fact.
Miki, there is no way someone like him would fall for you. So, don't think too much.
Yeah, that's right. I'm just...a NO ONE. And I know, SOON, this feeling toward him will be gone too. SOON! I will be back to my normal life. A girl who is in love with Japanese Idols. I miss Nakajima Yuto T.T
- Miki Ariake
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