And obviously, I'm one of them. For me, the JUMPers, are not just fans of Hey!Say!JUMP or my fandom-mates. They are...more like my family. Before I came to JUMP fandom, I didn't really have friends which I could share anything with. Yes, I do have some good friends who were always there for me. But, my life was so plain, so boring, so empty, so LONELY. Until I found JUMP. It was all thanks to JUMP that I now have my second family. The JUMPers. It is true that most of them are just my friends on FaceBook. I know that I never met most of them in real life. But, I feel like I'm so close to them tho we are far from each other. JUMPers, they are always the one that come to comfort me when I'm feeling down. They are always the one that cheer me up. Honestly, I think they know me better than my friends in real life. And now, with them, my life has become more fun, more cheerful, more colorful! Everyday, I have people to talk to. Everyday, I have people to play with. Everyday, I have people to laugh and fangirling with. I always have them by my side.
On 28th June 2011 last year, it was the day when that smoking incident of Ryutaro happened. There was a lot of us who cried and heartbroken. And that was also the time when I saw the strong bond between the JUMPers. No matter how sad some of them were, they managed to stay strong and went to comfort those who were weak. Comforting each other, advising each other, giving power to each other during such a moment, that is the real bond between the JUMPers. I can't imagine what would happened to me if they weren't there on that day. Although, they were just comforting me on FaceBook, the power DID reach me! I was saved by them. That's why, the JUMPers are so important in my life. They are my family. We share stuffs with each other, we comfort each other, we complain to each other, and sometime, we even fight with each other but those fights are one of those that strengthen our bond. A lot of them left after the suspension of Ryutaro started, and I lost a lot of the important people in my life. That's why those who stay in the fandom until now, I will cherish them as best as I can. Recently, there are a lot of new JUMPers in the fandom. I'm happy to have more family members. Though they were not there when Ryutaro was still with JUMP, once we told them about him, all of them, just like us are also hoping that Ryutaro would come back soon. Although they don't really know anything about Ryutaro, they still care for him. That is JUMPers.
In real life, I also met a lot of JUMPers. Yes, those who live in the same country as me. Ai, Nina, Emiko, Ema, Rii...they are one of the first that I got closed with. I was so happy when I found out that there are actually more JUMPers in my country, other than me, Suki-chan and Naru-baka. And for the first time after three years being a JUMPer, we held the first ever fan gathering. That was on 24th September 2010. We celebrated JUMP's 3rd year anniversary. It was the first time I met Nina, Ai, Emiko, Dii and Lii. They are all so friendly and treated me and Suki-chan like they've already known us for a long time and just within a day, we became really closed with each other.
(From left to right: Emiko, Suki-chan, me, Nina and Ai)
That day was one of the day that I will never forget. We talked, we played quizzes, we laughed together. It was really fun. I didn't get to talk to Dii and Lii much since they went home early but Nina, Ai and Emiko, they were so nice to me. I was so glad that I met them. And after that first gathering, we did the 2nd and 3rd fan gathering. And I met more JUMPers like Ema and Rii. Nina and Emiko even came to my house once. Nina, when I was down, she was always the one who worried about me the most. She kept calling even when I didn't pick up her call. She was like a sister to me. But things changed a lot after the Ryutaro's smoking incident. Nina, Emiko and Ai are no longer paying any attention to JUMP and we rarely talk to each other now. I feel like, they are slowly going further and further away from me. The last time we met was on 10th August 2011, I don't tell this to them, but I really miss them. Rii, after 'something' happened between her and Nina, she disappeared and according to Ema, she already left the fandom.
As for Ema, she is still standing as strong as me in the fandom. And she is the only one from the fan-gathering that I still talk to a lot. I'm glad that Ema choose to stay and keep on giving her full support to JUMP. Other than Suki-chan and Naru-baka, Ema is the one the I'm close with the most in the fandom. Maybe because we share the same ichiban and both of us has become fans of JUMP for a very long time. We first met each other on the 2nd fan gathering that we held. And I have only meet her twice.
(From left to right: Ema and me)
Ema is one of the JUMPers that I want to cherish the most. She is the JUMPer that I don't want to lose. Because she has always being there with me. We fangirl together, we flail together, we laugh, we cry together. And without I realized it, she has become one of the most important person in my life. But then, I ended up hurting her feeling a few days ago. I accidentally said something hurtful to her. Although it was just accidentally, something like this is unforgivable! I couldn't forgive myself for hurting my family, so I left. Yes, I left the fandom. I cut all the connection I have with the JUMPers. Because I hurt one, so that means I can hurt more of them. I don't want that to happen, so I left. But the girl wearing the red shirt in the photo, just couldn't leave me alone. Even though, I've hurt her feeling, she still wanted me to go back to the fandom. She sent me text, telling me to go back. Although I ignored her text last time, she sent me another one this morning.
"Just come back already...Forget what happened...I'm still your friend, right?"
I cried reading the last sentence. After everything that had happened, she still considered me as friends. Even after I hurt her...I thought she was going to hate me...but she didn't... After thinking twice, I decided to go back there. I reactivate my FaceBook account...and she scolded me.
"YOU!!! DON'T YOU DARE TO LEAVE AGAIN!! You know how worry I was!!?"
She was worrying for me...even after all the hurtful things I said to her. I'm happy that she still wants to talk to me after what happened... I'm glad that I didn't lose her. Ema, thank you so much. Thank you for everything.
I learned my lesson already. I will be careful in the future. I don't want to lose any friends...wait no, I don't want to lose my family. NEVER. Maybe, I've already lost Nina, Emiko, Ai and Rii...but I will cherish those who are still by my side right now. Suki-chan, Naru-baka, Ema and also the JUMPers that I met recently and also the other JUMPers all around the world! I will cherish every each of them. Because... they are my FAMILY.
- Miki Ariake
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